Being, not doing.

I'm definitely finding that in leaving YWAM, a lot of things that God has been trying to teach me for years are coming to the surface again. 

One of these is the whole idea of being, not doing. I'm very good at doing things. Give me a goal, and I'll work to get everything done perfectly. But I've found often, I can get so busy doing things for God, that get too busy to actually spend time with Him. Sure, I'll pray, but it's about figuring out what I need to do, or how to solve a particular problem. 

The whole idea of just sitting and being with God is a struggle for me. I need to know what I am achieving, what is the goal, and I need to be able to see the progress I am making.  But God keeps reminding me, that it's not about goals and getting things done. He wants my priority to be knowing Him, not doing stuff for Him.  

Now, I know this really should be a basic lesson. Yet, it's something I constantly struggle with. And especially in this season where I'm going to be taking a break from ministry, it's coming up again. Where do I find my identity, if I'm not doing ministry? How do I show God how good I am? How do I prove my value to everyone else? 

Now I have to keep going back to Him to find out what He says about me. I can't just rely on the sense of accomplishment, or knowing that I'm impacting other people's lives. I have plenty of time - so I can't use the excuse of being too busy to spend time with God, but I still need to take the time to just sit and listen for what He wants to say to me. 

 While this could be a challenging thing for me to work through, I'm glad that God is leading me into this time of focusing on Him, because in the long run it's going to be well worth it.

Not the Worst Answer...

I'm not going to make any grand promises of posting regularly - but I wanted to share some random thoughts that have been going around in my head the last few weeks - and what God's been saying about it.

Anyone who knows me well, know that I like to know what's going on. I like to have all the answers. I get a lot of identity and value from being the 'smart one' or the one who can answer all the questions. Ok, I'll admit, I can be a know-it-all.
I actually often feel like I've let someone down if I can't answer their question. I get so caught up wanting to know everything.

Since announcing that I was leaving YWAM, one of the questions I've been asked most often is 'what's next'? A valid question, but one I've struggled to answer. Even now when I have some ideas in the short term - the only way I can really honestly answer the question is - 'I don't know.'

Every time someone asks, I want to be able to respond with some grand plan mapping out the next 5 years of exactly what I'll be doing, where an when. And then of course explain why this is a perfect plan.

But then God has been challenging me - is 'I don't know' really the worst answer I can give? God never asked or expected me to have all the answers. And when I honestly think about it - I know the people around me don't either. I don't need to have everything mapped out.

When I say 'I don't know' - I need to trust that God does.

When I say 'I don't know' - I need to swallow my pride, and admit that I'm actually not perfect.

When I say 'I don't know' - I have to trust that the people around me will be patient as I work things out.

At the end of the day, maybe I should say 'I don't know' more often, because the important thing is I follow a God who does, and He has promised that He knows the plans He has for me, and they are good :)

My Saturday night

We've been working with the Salvation Army to launch a 12 hour overnight drop in centre in the city. From 5pm Saturday night to 5am Sunday morning.
(It was actually just featured in the newspaper this week: http://city-messenger.whereilive.com.au/news/story/salvos-start-up-new-saturday-service/.)

We start by serving a home cooked meal, then offer real coffee later in the evening. Throughout the night we have live music being played, XBOX or PlayStation for the clients, second hand clothes and blankets to give away, a room for them to sleep for a few hours, and just generally spend time with them. I usually only stay till about midnight, so I can be up for church the next morning, but some of the YWAM team stays there until 5am. We have a variety of people who come along. Most are homeless, some might have somewhere to live - but can't afford food. There are definitely some characters that come along. Some are challenging, but most of them are so kind & thankful. We've had so much positive feedback. People love that they can come and sit, they don't just get given a box of food, and then sent back out. We're trying to show them God's love and how much he values them in a very practical way.

I've enjoyed the times I've been able to chat with some of the clients. It's not usually deep stuff, but just talking - treating them as fellow humans, not just a recipient of charity. It's also been good to get to know some of the Salvos volunteers.


On a more personal note: It's been a month since I moved off base - and I'm loving it!

The freedom of going home at the end of the day is really helping with my stress levels.

We have also got a fourth house-mate
This is Asher - isn't he cute?

On base, I've been really busy with getting things ready for out DTS (Discipleship Training School) which starts on Monday night. At this point we have 14 accepted students. Three of those students are still waiting for visas, and there's still a few enquiries who might apply.

We got a house!

Wow - I'm actually updating my blog again within less than 24 hours =) but that's because I have even more breaking news!

I got a call this afternoon to say we got a house that we applied for last week! We found a house!



It's exactly what we were looking for, in the right area, and in our budget.

We'll be signing the lease and getting the keys sometime in the next few days - so hopefully we'll move in either over the weekend, or early next week!

I'll keep you informed as things progress!

Thanks for praying =)

Changes....

Time for an announcement =)

After 5 years of living in a dorm, I've realised over the past few months how much I need and value having my personal space. So I am looking for a place to rent with a few friends. Hopefully within the next weeks we will find a place that we like, but we can also afford....

What does this mean with YWAM? Nothing will really change in regards to YWAM. I will still be working here full-time. I will still be fully involved. But it means that at the end of the day, I can go home and physically get away from my work. This will help me to be able to get some brain space from working - allowing me to be able to fully invest when I am working.

I'll keep you posted as the house hunt continues.

I'd really appreciate your prayers through this process. That we find the right place, and that all the finances will come together to cover the extra costs that I will have.

2012!

I have neglected this blog for quite a while - oops. 

Once of the things I want to do better at this year is communicating with everyone, and that includes posting something here at least semi-regularly. I'm not planning on boring everyone with super long posts about everything I do, but I will be aiming to give you a basic idea of what I'm up to, and some of the things God is showing me along the way.

So, here's the start to 2012 (it's still January - that still counts as the start of the year....)

Last Tuesday was our official first day back at work for YWAM Southlands Adelaide. We started the year off by all sharing different hopes & expectations for the year. I wanted to share with you guys what I said.

For the last few months God has constantly been bringing me to back to reading Isaiah 54 again and again. Telling me that this is his promises to me for this year (I'm fairly certain he doesn't literally mean I'm going to have kids this year though :)). So to share in the meeting I wrote a paraphrase of the chapter. This is what I came up with

Rejoice, even when you haven’t seen fruit yet. Even though those around you are seeing their blessing now, your blessing is coming. Make space for God to move. Get ready, be prepared. Big things are coming. Even bigger than you can dream. You will be fruitful and affect many.

Don’t worry about being embarrassed. Don’t hold back in case things don’t work out. Forget about past failures. God will take care of you. He will not abandon you. He will never turn away.  No matter what the circumstances say, He will fulfil his promises.

The parts of your life that have been destroyed, God will rebuild. And he will rebuild them with great beauty. You will be grounded in righteousness.

Your fruit won’t just be your own. God will be with you, guiding you. If any attacks come, they will not be the end of the story. Nothing can truly hurt you. God will see to it that everything works out for the best.

So, I don't really know exactly what is in store for me this year. But that's what God has been saying. I'm looking forward to seeing how these promises come to be.

February News

Well, it’s been a while since I sent up an update.

So here’s a bit about what I’ve been up to for the last few months, and some of my plans for this year.

PCYM Wrap-up

When I last wrote, I was on my way to New Zealand. We had a great 3 weeks working with kids, mostly disadvantaged kids in Auckland. We also spent a weekend at the YWAM NZ National Gathering, where we ran the kids program for the weekend. The whole team was stretched in a lot of ways, and it was great to see the students step up and take leadership in a lot of areas – to the point where I mostly just had to supervise and advise them while they did most of the ministry.

Once we got back to Australia, we finished up with a few weeks of outreach in South Australia, including helping out at Schoolies. As usual it was a lot of fun to get to hang out with the newly graduated teenagers. This year as well as picking up rubbish, as we usually do, we also rode on the buses that were picking up Schoolies to help keep the peace, and helped with general crowd control.

In keeping with the PCYM tradition of making everything as fun as possible, graduation had a pirates & ninjas theme. Everyone enjoyed dressing up, and it was great to look back on the 6 months and celebrate finishing the school.

Personal Stuff

On our way back to Adelaide from NZ, Bec & I stopped off in New South Wales to spend a few days with family. We were there to celebrate our Grandad’s 80^th birthday, Dad’s 50^th, and our uncle’s 40^th.

It was great to spend time with family, but it was also a tough time as Grandad had been diagnosed with cancer, and by that stage was in palliative care.

Grandad passed away on November 30^th, and we’re going to miss him a lot. But it’s good to know that he isn’t in pain anymore.

Holidays

I had the whole month of December off – and it was amazing! The long holiday was just what I needed after a very hectic year. I got to spend time with family (including helping my parents move house), catch up with friends, and I enjoyed spending a large amount of time just reading or doing nothing. By the end of the year I was feeling refreshed and was looking forward to getting back to work.

Then I headed Sydney with some friends, where we spent a few days being tourists, including watching the New Years Eve fireworks from just near the Harbour Bridge.

Coming Up in 2011

This year I am taking on some new areas of responsibility on base. I am taking over all of the government accreditation for our courses. This mostly involves a lot of paperwork, and generally ensuring that we are always meeting the requirements set for us by the government. I’ve been starting to do this job for the past few weeks, and I am starting to realise just how much is involved in the role.

I am also going to be involved with running our staff training, and continuing to be responsible for helping our staff and students to get visas.

At the moment we are struggling a lot to get visas for people to come and work with us. We are going through a registration process with the government, and it is all moving very slowly. I would appreciate prayer for wisdom as I am dealing with this, and also for patience – both for me and those who are waiting on the visas.

It’s challenging at the moment to try and get my head around it all. But I know that God is calling me to higher levels of responsibility in this, and He’s going to teach me a lot. One of the main areas that He is already challenging me on is the area of integrity, and being sure that we are doing everything to the very best of our ability.

That’s about all I have room for in this newsletter. I hope you’ve found it informative J